Words of Wisdom
from Larry the Cable Guy
1. A day
without sunshine is like night.
2. On the other
hand, you have different fingers.
3. 99 percent
of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
4. 42.7 percent
of all statistics are made up on the spot.
5. Remember,
half the people you know are below average.
6. He who
laughs last, thinks slowest.
7. Depression
is merely anger without enthusiasm.
8. The early
bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
9. Support
bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
10. A clear
conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Change is
inevitable, except from vending machines.
12. If you
think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments..
13. OK, so
what's the speed of dark?
14. When
everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
15. Hard work
pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
16. How much
deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
17. Eagles may
soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
20. What
happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
21. Why do
psychics have to ask you your name?
22. Inside
every older person is a younger person wondering 'What the
heck happened?'
23. Just
remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
24. Light
travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear
them speak.
25. Life isn't
like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today,
might burn your butt tomorrow.
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