Number 10
Life is
sexually transmitted.
Number 9
Good health is
merely the slowest possible
rate at which
one can die.
Number 8
Men have two
emotions: Hungry and Horny.
If you see him
without an erection, make him a sandwich ..
Number 7
Give a person a
fish and you feed them for a day,
teach a person
to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6
Some people are
like a Slinky ...
not really good
for anything, but you
still can't
help but smile when
you shove them
down the stairs.
Number 5
Health nuts are
going to feel stupid someday,
lying in
hospitals, dying of nothing.
Number 4
All of us could
take a lesson from the weather.
It pays no
attention to criticism.
Number 3
Why does a
slight tax increase cost you $200.00,
and a
substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?
Number 2
In the 60's,
people took acid to make the world weird.
Now the world
is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
And The Number
1 Thought
Life is like a
jar of Jalapeno peppers;
what you do
today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
- - - and as
someone recently said to me: "Don't worry about old age;
it doesn't last
long."
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